Terrifying Baking Machine!!!

Monstrous. I am terrified.

What is this fiendish contraption, you ask? It is the Koenig Artisan SFR available through Rollequip. To quote the BakeryNet newsletter, "You can run round, square, rectangular and long-rolled artisan products at 65 percent to 75 percent hydration with multiple hours of fermentation on this compact, modular machine. Eliminate the use of oil by running with flour. Reduce your labor costs while increasing the variety you can offer customers."

ROBOTS!!! Ack. Please note the flashing red light mounted on top of the machine so you can be clearly warned to STAY AWAY FROM IT!!!

The Rollequip website even has a videoclip available. In it, you see footage that is suspiciously pornographic, of various machine parts pushing and poking at pale doughy bits. Then it magically turns a bunch of square-cut little buns into perfectly round ones. The whole affair is quite disturbing. You can also see reflections of men in white coats wandering around when they get to the bits of video where they're in front of one of the glass monitoring windows on the machine.

The photo of the machine on the webpate is even more disturbing and robot-like than the one from BakeryNet (when you get to the site, click on the "ARTISAN" tab on the menu).