Monkey Horrors

Don't look now, but someone has started beheading monkeys and making cakes out of them.

Of course the cakes are cute, but that's beside the point.

At this time, it seems convenient if tasteless to point out my own monkey cake design as found on my kingdom-come formative website, Cakechat.

To give you the proper context, please note that this helpful diagram was drawn in response to the following inquiry by Ms. Ellie Pantzaroff:

Dear King of Cakes,
My five year old son loves primates and wants a monkey cake for his birthday. I have only made ordinary pan cakes in the past, and have no experience at making anything more elaborate. How do I make a cute monkey shaped cake that will feed ten little boys?
Sincerely,
Ms. Pantzaroff


To which, of course, I responded:

Dear Ms. Pantzaroff:
How can you say that a monkey cake is more elaborate than an ordinary pan cake? There is nothing more simple.

Your horde of monkey-eating youngsters should be ashamed of themselves. You had better watch out and make sure they don't try to eat their little sisters if they are already evincing the desire to consume monkeys. It is well known that when denied monkeys to eat, ravenous youngsters will resort to eating smaller children due to their similarity to primate-shaped cakes.

I will not encourage you in your endeavors beyond saying that cupcakes make fine monkey ears, as illustrated in my hypothetical monkey cake design below.

Any weirdos who would like to read the rest of the discussion, including the proper use of monkey cake as a baiting technique when faced with youngsters who are out to eat smaller children, are welcome to view the morass of inanity here.