The King of Cake in your face

Smush your face into my cake, or I'll smush my cake into your face. That's the long and the short of it. Who wants frosting?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Sweet Monkey Brains

by the glow of the monkeyhead
Well, a certain friend of my acquaintance decided that it would be "cute" to make her husband a delicious monkey cake for his birthday yesterday, using the controversy-garnering design I dug up the other week.
Of course, having watched too many horror films, she insisted it would be "funny" to use a strawberry cake mix so that when the cake was cut the attendees at the birthday feast would be eating pink monkey brains.

Sick, I tell you. SICK!!!

More pictures:
The sicko herself, with birthday-boy accomplice.
She titled this one "Eaten but not beaten." I told you she was sick! Please note the Werewolf Kit in the background. Weirdos on all sides!!!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Monkey Pudding

Monkey made a disturbing mention of a substance heretofore unknown to Your Highness (that's me).


Strangely fascinating, this idea. Is it pudding made FOR monkeys? Pudding made OF monkeys? If it is pudding made of monkeys, what part of the monkey do they use? His/her creamy brains. I found myself needlessly befuddled, and decided to embark on a quest on the Worlb Wibe Web (see, my brain is confused so it is all B's) to illuminate this dark issue.

I did find this monkey, who does like pudding, according to the photo's subtitle, "PET MONKEY EATING PUDDING AT FIREBASE." Look at how pointy his ears are!!! That means he is full of mischief. I should know.

Then I found the website Recipe Circus!!! They have a recipe for Monkey Pudding. Boy, it sounds delicious.



6 slices whole wheat bread, torn into big cubes
1 (14-oz.) can sweetened condensed milk
1/4 cup flaked or shredded coconut
3 eggs
2 tbsp. margarine or butter, melted
3 ripe bananas, mashed
2 tbsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
2 cups warm water
1/2 cup chopped pecans

1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup cream
3/4 cups brown sugar, firmly packed
2 tbsp. rum or 1 tsp. rum flavoring


PUDDING: Preheat oven to 350ºF.

Place bread cubes in a greased 9-in. baking pan.

In a large bowl, beat together eggs, banana and cinnamon. Add remaining ingredients, except chopped pecans and Butter Rum Sauce.

Pour mixture evenly over bread, moistening completely. Sprinkle pecans on top.

Bake 45 to 50 minutes or until knife comes out clean. Cool. Serve warm with Butter Rum Sauce.

BUTTER RUM SAUCE: In a sauce, melt butter; add brown sugar and cream. Boil rapidly 8 to 10 minutes; add rum or rum flavoring. Serve warm.

Makes about 1 cup

It could be a new office party fad -- Monkey Pudding Party! Heck, I would come.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I'm Bananas for Monkey!

In honor of Monkey's return to the blogosphere, I wanted to find a nice monkey cake online to point out as a virtual cakefest in celebration of the auspicious occasion.

However, I got distracted by this monstrosity!

Please note, dear Monkey, that I would never stick candles in your head. Also, don't you think this monkey's head looks suspiciously like an over-large, two-handled coffee mug?

The directions also tell us to:
--"Spread a thick layer of chocolate buttercream over entire monkey head."
Would you be agreeable to this? I prefer a good creamcheese frosting myself, but in a pinch I am certainly not going to deny myself a good chocolate buttercream. Your person still has a washer and dryer, no?

--"Attach ears to sides of head, top of cupcake facing forward, securing with toothpicks."
This one I am not so sure about.

I was a little terrified when I watched the video and found that she also cuts the poor monkey's head in half to spread more chocolate buttercream inside its little brains. Eeek!

Here's to monkeys everywhere, and also monkey cake!!!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Monolith Mockery with Twinkies

Apparently this is only one of many representations of Twinkiehenge. Good lord, people!!!

That's what I get for typing in "stupid cake" in Google's image search. I should know better by now.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Boobah Menace

Right. I tell you, it appeared on my table. I approached it bleary-eyed, fresh from slumber on a trip to the kitchen to get some past-midnight milk and cookies. I flipped on the overhead light when my squinting in the dim light was to no avail. And then I SHRIEKED!!!

Terrifying, just terrifying. I had to call a friend over in the morning to rid my kitchen of this looming fortress of the colorful fiends. (luckily I have friends that will come and eat anything without asking any questions)

I hid in the basement to avoid hearing the tiny screams.

Somewhere out there, I have a very nasty enemy.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Woodland Poop

Good heavens, has it been that long?! At any rate -- we interrupt this hiatus to bring you this important message:

If there's one thing I don't need, it's cute little woodland critters pooping on my perfectly good cake.

Have a great week, all you cakelovers out there!!! I mean it! You better, or I'll get after you with my spatula. Or maybe I'll recruit the furry little minons show here and send them to bite your ankles until you start doing a gleeful jig to show me you've seen the error of your ways. I have binoculars, you know.

The Erstwhile King of Cake Cake CAKE!!!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Forget that, Cat!

Now listen, if someone took the time to spread that much frosting on my face, I sure as heck wouldn't be hastening off to London, I'd be STICKING AROUND.

Um, perhaps quite literally.

He Who Loves Frosting on His Face